There is an ancient Sufi parable about coffee: "He who tastes, knows; he who tastes not, knows not."
If we're only ever looking back
We will drive ourselves insane
As the friendship goes resentment grows
We will walk our different ways
How do you define friendship, FJ?I have struggled to keep a friendship alive for a few months now...and I wonder, is it better to let it go? I think that the resentment comes from unmet expectations. So, if I let go of expectations (letting go of the friendship), then maybe the resentment will leave, as well.
I define it rather cynically, I'm afraid (Plato's "Lysis"), a kind of acritical "acceptance" and "support" of the "other". One that doesn't demand "change" for the "better" or "worse".
I suspect that it differ's from "Love" in that it doesn't desire the eternal presence and perpetuation of "the Good". Perhaps this is how resentment comes to "tinge" a friendship, as it perhaps draws you "away" from "the Good"?I don't "know", though. The Lysis is a very difficult dialogue, even if it was one of his early ones.
Feel free to draw your own conclusions, though.
I suppose "acritical" wasn't the best word. "Non-judgemental" would be better.
Funny that you'd use bring up "non-judgemental". My daughter and I were just having a conversation this weekend about what it means to be "judgemental". If I can't use my judgement when making and maintaining friendships, I'll be in a huge mess. But some of my closest friends have told me that I tend to be self-righteous, so it's probably true. :pby the way, that Wiki article was hard to read. It reads like a bad translation. Did you notice that?I don't know what my conclusion on friendship is. I do know that when I am truly friends with someone, I want the best for them. I feel happy when they're happy, etc.
It actually reads a bit like the dialogue... complicated. Even after all these years, I haven't quite figured it out.And I agree, you want what's best for them, and not necessarily what's best for you. And in that sense of non-judgementalism... you accept their choices, even if they aren't the choices you would be comfortable with? You aren't critical of their "bad-judgement"? Or something like that.
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