I have struggled to keep a friendship alive for a few months now...and I wonder, is it better to let it go? I think that the resentment comes from unmet expectations. So, if I let go of expectations (letting go of the friendship), then maybe the resentment will leave, as well.
I define it rather cynically, I'm afraid (Plato's "Lysis"), a kind of acritical "acceptance" and "support" of the "other". One that doesn't demand "change" for the "better" or "worse".
I suspect that it differ's from "Love" in that it doesn't desire the eternal presence and perpetuation of "the Good". Perhaps this is how resentment comes to "tinge" a friendship, as it perhaps draws you "away" from "the Good"?
I don't "know", though. The Lysis is a very difficult dialogue, even if it was one of his early ones.
Funny that you'd use bring up "non-judgemental". My daughter and I were just having a conversation this weekend about what it means to be "judgemental". If I can't use my judgement when making and maintaining friendships, I'll be in a huge mess. But some of my closest friends have told me that I tend to be self-righteous, so it's probably true. :p
by the way, that Wiki article was hard to read. It reads like a bad translation. Did you notice that?
I don't know what my conclusion on friendship is. I do know that when I am truly friends with someone, I want the best for them. I feel happy when they're happy, etc.
It actually reads a bit like the dialogue... complicated. Even after all these years, I haven't quite figured it out.
And I agree, you want what's best for them, and not necessarily what's best for you. And in that sense of non-judgementalism... you accept their choices, even if they aren't the choices you would be comfortable with? You aren't critical of their "bad-judgement"? Or something like that.
8 comments:
How do you define friendship, FJ?
I have struggled to keep a friendship alive for a few months now...and I wonder, is it better to let it go? I think that the resentment comes from unmet expectations. So, if I let go of expectations (letting go of the friendship), then maybe the resentment will leave, as well.
I define it rather cynically, I'm afraid (Plato's "Lysis"), a kind of acritical "acceptance" and "support" of the "other". One that doesn't demand "change" for the "better" or "worse".
I suspect that it differ's from "Love" in that it doesn't desire the eternal presence and perpetuation of "the Good". Perhaps this is how resentment comes to "tinge" a friendship, as it perhaps draws you "away" from "the Good"?
I don't "know", though. The Lysis is a very difficult dialogue, even if it was one of his early ones.
Feel free to draw your own conclusions, though.
I suppose "acritical" wasn't the best word. "Non-judgemental" would be better.
Funny that you'd use bring up "non-judgemental". My daughter and I were just having a conversation this weekend about what it means to be "judgemental". If I can't use my judgement when making and maintaining friendships, I'll be in a huge mess. But some of my closest friends have told me that I tend to be self-righteous, so it's probably true. :p
by the way, that Wiki article was hard to read. It reads like a bad translation. Did you notice that?
I don't know what my conclusion on friendship is. I do know that when I am truly friends with someone, I want the best for them. I feel happy when they're happy, etc.
It actually reads a bit like the dialogue... complicated. Even after all these years, I haven't quite figured it out.
And I agree, you want what's best for them, and not necessarily what's best for you. And in that sense of non-judgementalism... you accept their choices, even if they aren't the choices you would be comfortable with? You aren't critical of their "bad-judgement"? Or something like that.
:-)
Yes
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